when churches hurt

Thinking about so many in our community who have been hurt by churches… Though we’re all imperfect & mistakes are made, I’ve heard a whole lot of people make the statement, “I used to go to that church, but they hurt me so I left.”
Without getting into semantics, I think it’s huge to realize when someone says, I was hurt by that church, what they are actually saying is one of a few things:
That didn’t go exactly the way I thought it should; I’m hurt.
My expectations/needs were definitely not met there; I’m hurt.
This person was not appreciative of my work; I’m hurt.
I am overworked and feel burnt out; I’m hurt.
These things usually end up resulting in someone leaving their church.
I think that’s sad.
Here’s why:
It means we aren’t healthy and secure enough to have continual open dialogue about expectations and feelings.
And when we are, and the dialogue doesn’t go the way we thought it should, we still leave, and that may be healthy or it may not.
It’s healthy if, we placed our personal agenda aside and could seek after what is best for the entire church.
It is NOT healthy, if we leave upset because our personal goals or desires aren’t met.
Either way, if we leave, headed out on our own thinking that we can do it better all alone; we’ve missed the boat.

The key is understanding that churches don’t hurt people,
People hurt people.

Funny thing is that we never say the gym hurt me. The bar, restaurant, the movie theatre, the skate center( well maybe i have heard that one). While people can have a misunderstand at their job,school and anywhere they do life, it is nowhere else that the Devil has concentrated his power of offense. If the Devil can get you offended at church by the pastor,staff or even another attender He knows he has baited you into His trap.If we could only see it as what it is, a trap. It takes a higher level of maturity to be aware of this and be on the look out. We must come to a conclusion to make a commitment to not be offended, but look to be a blessing to others.

O.K. i do support the idea that if Bob has a same problem with 20 people that have a similar experience with bob. The problem could most definitely be BOB. And yes there are a few BOB churches in every circle. Mark Jenkins Adapted from original article from my friend chrislockhart.net